New Blog

Hey Everyone,
Just wanted to let you know that from now on I will be updating everyone and blogging on jlalexander.tumblr.com If I remember to come here and check it ever, I'll update it, but I'm pretty sure you can re-subscribe at tumblr if you want.

If not, that's cool.

Just kidding. Not cool at all.

bigger than fear

5:15am

I wake in bed in a deep panic. I have to go to the bathroom and I'm terrified, sensing someone or something is trying to hurt me and go into protection mode. Well...kinda.

Depending on the dream I had, it's safe to say that I'm either fearing that somehow zombies or aliens are in the house, or an opponent bigger than my self is going to burst through at any moment and try and harm my wife.

There are two main reasons why I say kinda: 1. I some how realize that I've been 'incepted' and what I'm feeling is the result of a dream 2, I am terrified of aliens and zombies.

I know it's silly, but it's true.
How many alien attacks occur around lunch time? How many zombie outbreaks happen while we are making our commute to a gun store? It's always at night that the freakiest things happen.

I know what you're thinking: these things have never happened, it's all sy-fy jargon. Yes you are correct.

But the response I have to them in this moment is real. Sometimes I'm so afraid of this perceived reality that I don't do one of the most natural things known to man. "potty".I'm so afraid of something happening that a number one becomes a number never.

When I finally get over it, its too late to go back to bed. I usually just lay there, frustrated. This frustration spirals out of control and bleeds into my whole day, effectively rendering my Wednesday the new Monday.

And it's funny because for a large part, this is how I let the enemy dictate my actions. Fear is a powerful, instant motivator. The enemy loves fear. But peace is stronger. God moves in peace. Peace is also long lasting. Eventually fears become obsolete when a newer bigger fear comes to trump it.

The enemy knows this. And as long as we acquiesce to these little fears, we miss out on the big peace God offers us. It's this peace that leads us, gives us confidence and assurance, guides us in the midst of fear.

Fear says "there is no one else but me"

Peace says "there is fear, but don't worry, I'm Stronger"

Fear says "You are alone"

Peace says "I am with you"

Fear says "You will never be anything"

Peace says "You are everything to me"

The longer we hold on to fear, the longer we run from the peace that God gives. His peace is the conduit to accepting the rest of who He is. Where in our lives are we living out of fear, and where does God wish to speak His peace?

140 Characters of Faith

What do you think of when you see a little blue bird?
If you are anything like me, two things pop up.

1. The insanely addictive and life consuming game ‘Angry Birds’, which I recommend everyone immediately stop reading and find a way to get.

Or

2. Twitter.

I admit, I was a reluctant ‘tweeter’ at first. My allegiance lied with Facebook. But much like a Sith Lord, the bird slowly swayed me. It started with a simple tweet in October of 2008, and then slowly picked up steam to at least 3 tweets a day. Now…I love it.

People often ask me, “What makes twitter so different from Facebook?”. And it’s simple: I follow who I want, when I want. However, it’s a completely different social media outlet than any other I have experienced or used, and it’s not just because of the simplicity of it. It’s more about how I use it.

This first occurred to me when I ran into someone the other day that I follow on twitter, but has a ton of people who follow them. I’ve never met them in person, but here I am, confronted with acknowledging my own stalkerish ways, or quietly tweeting about them or at them indirectly. I mean, what’s the rule with that kind of stuff? Is it sketchy to walk up and talk to them? Does that automatically make them feel weird or does it give a sense of healthy admiration?

On my end it’s kind of unsettling at first to when you meet someone out of the normal confines of the initial relationship. You almost catch yourself forgetting who they are or asking “What are you doing here?” as if they weren’t allowed in this public forum in the first place.

But back to it, the thing that bothers me about how I use these social networks is how they honestly translate to much of my spiritual life. Often times, it’s like I’m ‘following’ Jesus. I think you know what I mean. I may be secretly adding/dropping Him because He’s tweeting to much, or tweeting things that I disagree with. Don’t get me wrong, I think twitter is a great forum for discussion on a wide range of thoughts and ideas, but how many times have you found yourself saying “If you follow me, I’ll follow you. But if you don’t follow me or give me a Follow Friday shout out, I’m dropping you…that is, until you do give me the shout out, then I’ll just @reply you” Or we treat it as if it’s more important that people are following us than the quality of people we follow.

We treat out faith like a tweet. I know this seems cheesy or whatever, but it’s really true. There’s just enough distance that we can give an impression of vulnerability and openness, yet we constantly hold people at an arm’s length like an older sibling picking on the younger.

“Are you guy’s friends?”
“Well, yea. I mean, I follow them on twitter and they follow me”.

Sometimes, we get more used to communicating with the people in our lives via a social network we forget that they are actually living. Sometimes we treat our faith as a social network or book club that meets on Sunday’s to talk about the thing that happened that one time, or the thing that one guy did, rather than treating it as something that is “living and effective, sharper than any two edge sword.” (<- I stole those words from someone way smarter and holier than I)

You see, our spiritual life is far more than a 140 typed out characters of goodness that we read or say, it’s living out a goodness of character in everything we do. It’s easy to tweet about the Church changing, or needing to live our faith more radically. It’s hard to stop typing and start living. That’s what the world needs: witnesses of faith, not just on a computer, but on the streets.

I’m not perfect at it, but I do try. I pray that this Lent, God moves in me in such a way that I longer just follow online or when it benefits me, but that I actually begin living my love for God in the way I type, eat, live and relate. I pray that other Christian's might join me in never having to wonder what it would look like if I ran into Jesus in modern times at the local coffee shop, because I've already run into Him on the street, and know Him through my relationship of prayer and worship.

1 Corinthians 10:31 ‘So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.’

lent

Houston. Texas.
One of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been and lived. Despite the pro's, there are a few cons though. (and for all you non-Texans, only a few cons) Like bugs.

I hate bugs.

Roaches pretty much own Houston. So do mosquitoes. But the one bug that comes and goes with no seemingly apparent care is the June bug.

Last night as I enjoyed a beverage with my friend and wife, I realized how many June bugs were starting to appear. In droves. Now, if you aren’t really up to date on what this bug is, no worries. I’m not entirely sure either.

But as I sat there, I noticed one thing. They don’t seem to be smart. See, this particular bug was on it’s back. So being the good St. Francis wanna be I am, instead of crushing him and ending his seemingly futile life, I flipped him over. Then he would walk, not outside where he would be safe from my insatiable desire to play with bugs, but closer towards me.

Then he flipped himself over again, except this time he tried to fly. Once he got close to me again, (because, let’s be honest, I wasn’t going to get out of my chair for a bug) we repeated the whole silly process. This continued four more times.

How dumb is this bug??? Why won’t he just fly the right way? Why does he keep playing with death from the white, hairy giant???

Then, in one of those “learn something about your self” moments God gives us, or we make up, I realized that this was a great representation of what I would be entering into the next day.

How many times in my own life do I just keep flipping myself on my back? How many times do I keep walking that fine line between those things that will kill me in the most ultimate way, and the freedom that is just mere steps away?

Lent provides me an opportunity to not just walk towards that open door, but run to it. The Church, in all her wisdom, gives me a deeply intentional, soul searching time. A time to examine what God offer’s me, and what the world offers me.

It’s during this time that everything is put in perspective. The things that bring death scream louder and harder than ever before. They are literally clinging to their life. Our fasting has a purpose. We aren’t giving up things to simply feel better about life, or look better, or develop healthier habits. We are killing those gods which steal our affection.

It’s very similar to what happened in Moses, except we experience it every year.

A lot of the time, we look at Moses in the perspective of the 1998 smash hit “The Prince of Egypt”, or Heston’s Rendition with a gnarly beard (which was real according to my research). However we think of those movies, or hear the story, there is an important aspect that we completely miss!

You see, it’s easy for us to look at the Ten Plagues as bad things from a good God, or as God showing His power, but there is a deeper meaning. Each one of the plagues was a direct attack and death-dealing blow to the god’s of the Egyptian people.

The god of the river?
The god of the harvest?
The god of the sun?
The supreme living god, pharaoh?

All struck down by the One true God. Not just to say he can, but so that His people would be free to worship him and no longer worship false gods. These other gods stood in the way between God and His people, and when you mess with the bull, you get the horns! (heyo!)

God’s people had forgotten him, because they began to be blinded by these other gods of the Egyptians. It’s not like it happened all of a sudden, but over their time there. First, things we actually ok. Then they progressively got worse. Then they claimed that God had forgotten them, when it was actually they who forgot Him.

Not only did he display His power and remind them who He was, but he also used a mumbling, murdering coward to do it. Eventually, they remembered, and many Egyptians fled with them, now free to worship him. He actually rescued his people from the slavery of Egypt, as well as the slavery of idol worship and false god’s.

All that mattered to God was his people, and that they would be free to worship him.

It’s during this time of lent that we kill all our gods and see which God can truly rise from the grave. It’s during this time that we see what we worship most in our lives, and what needs to die in order that we might rise.

restoration

Restoration.

What a weird word. We don't really have a great understanding of what it means. When was the last time you restored something? Typically, if something breaks or isn't working, we just purchase a new thing. Why work on restoring something when someone else can fix it for us? Why have to learn why that thing broke in the first place? Why waste our time in learning how it was supposed to work in the first place?

Scripture often talks about restoration of God's people, but maybe not in a way that we think.

The Greek word for restoration is "Katartizo", which when literally translated, means "the setting of a bone"

Ouch. When was the last time you heard someone say "It felt great to get that broken bone set". The one time in my life that I have broken a bone and got it set, I let out a yell that would make your local opera singer blush with envy, and that was just my finger.

That word drives home a better understanding of what God does when he restores. He literally sets in place something in our lives that was broken, and often times, that's going to hurt.

God is merciful. God is Love. Don't get me wrong in that. However, when we are so attached to something in our lives that is harmful to our soul, it is going to literally (and maybe even physically) hurt when it is removed. How many times have you met someone struggling with an alcohol or tobacco addiction claim that it's easy to quit? How many people do you know have stopped committing their habitual sin or unhealthy habits at the drop of a dime?

Though our culture would claim that we should avoid pain and suffering in order to maximize pleasure, God would say otherwise. Suffering is a vehicle for holiness. I'm not saying that we should purposefully walk around breaking each others arms and claiming that it's "for the kingdom", but when we avoid suffering, we may be running away from a means of holiness in our lives. It is precisely then that our suffering becomes redemptive and we become sanctified.

God doesn't restore aspects of our lives in order to punish us, but rather to take away those things which would step in between Him and our heart. There's nothing He desires more than us, but sadly, we can't often make the same claim. When restoration begins in our lives, we are fundamentally changed. We are changed for a purpose. Externally we look the same, but something is different internally.

Peter uses this word "restoration" when referring to being restored or equipped for a purpose or work. When God restores His people, He does it holistically and in time, but also so that they will be fruitful. We are called to be a part of the restoration of the kingdom, but not on our own. For the most part, what we think we need isn't really what we need. The Father knows all our needs better than we do, the Son shows us the way to the Father, and the Spirit equips us to to move deeper and closer to the Father's heart; all to achieve a better understanding of need and want. What we want is temporary. What we need is eternal.

When we deny the fact that we are in desperate need of restoration, we effectively turn away from God using us in His plan for restoration of ourselves, and His kingdom. If we deny the fact that we need restoration, we deny the fact that we need a God. In a sense, we are trying to set a bone that has broken without having any knowledge of how to. If I go to a doctor who sets my bone the wrong way, chances are I'm not going to go back to Him. Furthermore, if I am surrounded by bad doctors and find a perfect one, I'm going to tell everyone I know the way to find Him. Once we begin to live in this restoration, we have no other choice than to spread the fact that we weren't aren't able to restore anything on our own but we know who can.

The funny thing is this: we aren't something that needs to be replaced or discarded, but sanctified. We are made in His image and likeness, and that gives us a special dignity that can't be taken away or ignored. In acknowledging this, we begin to see our restoration more fully as we become One with the eternal, thus mirroring who He is to the world. In allowing the Father to restore us, we learn why He wants to restore us, and what He restores us for, both temporally and eternally.

How is God restoring you today? What purpose do you think He is restoring you for?

dreams

Consult not your fears but your hopes and dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what is still possible for you to do. ~Pope John XXIII

It's almost comical. It really, really is.

So many times, we hear of someone doing something great, following their heart, pursuing their dreams, and we say "I wish I could do something like that" or “That’s crazy”, or better yet “Well here’s what you should do…”

It’s funny because when I read those words of John XXIII, I realize how often people respond to dream sharing, and why they extinguish them. Jealousy. Here’s the Rosetta Stone version for understanding what I mean.

“I wish I could do something like that” - I’m too safe where I’m at to take that step into unknown, even if it means following God. I only have assurances in this place.

“That’s Crazy” – That’s so cool I wish I thought of that first.

“Well here’s what you should do…” - Hopefully I can say something that will give me some sort of ownership to your idea.

A lot of this comes from personal experience, on both ends of the spectrum. Many times I’ve had my dreams crushed by a sarcastic comment, or negative reaction. Many times I’ve been the extinguisher, putting out the flames of my friends dream, and saving them from a mistake that could possibly rival the King’s 1 hour “Decision” special this past summer.

You know, if I wrote Jeremiah it’d probably go something like “For I, and only I, know well the plans I have for you, plans to prosper us and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future, but only if I come out on top, and you give me some percentage of credit for assisting you in this idea. I mean, you wouldn’t have been able to do it without me right? I was your inspiration, your sole consolation and provider of creativity throughout it all. Remember?”

In my own life I’ve recently just come to a realization that the people around you can be conduits of God’s affirmation to your call, but they can also be detriments. I don’t need to tell everyone God’s plan for my life, but I do need to tell people who can be authentic and true with their responsibility in helping me pursue God’s heart.

Many times I don’t think there are many possibilities for me, and I limit God to having already done all He can do. “I’m a lost cause”. Most of that comes from brokenness and having been dejected so many times that I lose sight of really seeing the hidden potential that God has for us all. Not just in big things, but in small.


As Pope John Paul II said “Do not let that hope die! Stake your lives on it! We are not the sum of our weaknesses and failures; we are the sum of the Father's love for us and our real capacity to become the image of his Son.”

It’s time to stop saying “I wish I could follow my heart”, and start saying “I am following my heart”.

It’s time to not let that hope and call die on your heart, but to risk our very lives on fulfilling the call of the Lord and reflect in a radical way the immense love of the Father, with all that He has placed within us.

So what are your dreams and how are you going to follow the call God has placed on your heart?

what if

I often times get caught up in the "what ifs" in life. What if this situation had gone this way? What if I grew up in europe? What if I was a superstar athelete or musician? What would I do if I wasn't a youth minister?

I don't know if you struggle with this, but I realized that I do this more often than not. I have a very active imagination, and unfortunately, I often get caught up in it. I mean, I can create this whole world in my head of what things would be like if they were "perfect" like my little, imaginative "world". How often do we do this with our faith life?

I catch myself saying, "Lord, why is this situation any different?"
As if I were bargaining with the creator of all things?!?!?!

The reality of it all is that I get so caught up in the "what if's" that I fail to see that He is providing the grace to be present to His plan for my life, and the things HE is leading me to.

You see, it's a constant "no" that I am saying to the Father. Subtle, but it's there none the less. It's often those hard types of things like admitting when I'm wrong (which is quite often), or asking for forgiveness (also quite often), or having those tough conversations that are needed between friends (again, quite often...I'm starting to see a trend here....)

How about this: What if we stopped asking what if God did this, and acted as if His Spirit actually dwelt within us and gave us the grace to live a Godly life? What if we constantly reminded ourselves that Christ died, and rose from the grave. What if we constantly acted as if the Holy Spirit was actively bearing fruit in our lives, and the God was placing us in situations and circumstances that would make us more united with Him?

What if this week, we actually lived with an openness to the way the father was seeking to love us, especially in those hard ways which strip us of all the things blocking the way to Him in our heart. What if today I started asking "Which way Lord" instead of whining and complaining that things aren't going my way.

It's when we start looking at our lives with humility that God begins to transform his lowly servants into burning fire, and all the "what if's" fade in comparison with the Father's love.

"Arm yourself with prayer instead of a sword; be clothed with humility instead of fine raiment" St Dominic.